Love You ... Now Stop Smoking!

Posted on 2025-07-30

5 Tips To Help Your Partner Quit Smoking

My husband has been a smoker since I met him, and since I've met him I've been trying to get him to quit. Now we're thinking about having kids, which means he really needs to quit. I want to support him and try to help him as much as possible but I don't really know how. He's tried to quit in the past but has unsuccessful, and every time he tries stopping he gains a lot of weight, which makes him reluctant to try again. Do you have any advice for how I can get him to stop smoking? It could save our relationship!

Smoking is an addiction, and helping a partner through an addiction can be trying on both people in the relationship. Here are some relationship tips for helping a partner quit, and making sure your relationship survives the nicotine withdrawal!

5 tips to help your partner quit smoking

1. Be realistic. If your partner has made numerous attempts to quit smoking and has come back to the nicotine every time, this attempt probably won't be successful either. However, it can be -- if something is done differently. The point is, don't set yourself up for disappointment. Know that this attempt may or may not work.

2. Don’t second-guess second hand smoke. If there are children in the mix be very clear that second hand smoke is dangerous to children and yourself (if you do not smoke), and that your boundaries about other peoples' health and safety are clear. You can still love the smoker, but refuse to live with them or be around them or their smoky house if you have children. And if you are a parent, your health is especially important because your kids need you. Be firm and remove yourself and your children from any smoking or smoky environments.
3. Promote health. Take your loved one for physicals with you -- as a couple -- and then out to a celebratory meal or movie. Make health part of your lifestyle. Instead of dinner and a movie, make your dates or date nights gym dates or double massage and facial dates. Buy exercise clothes together.

4. Attend some kind of support group meetings for people who have partners who are smoking addicts. Making sure that you do not become co-dependent and a harmful part of the addiction dynamic is key to helping the other person see that this is their own problem to solve, and that they will lose you and other valuable loved ones if they don't take care of themselves.

5. Tolerate weight. Be tolerant of any weight gain that comes from quitting smoking. Many people lose their smoking addiction, but keep the oral fixation that is part of smoking, and satiate it by putting food in their mouths -- and lots of it.